Yes, I'm Alive

If anyone is still checking my site, yes, I'm still alive and well. I haven't written because, when it's been a long time I feel like I should post something really important or witty or something. I finally decided not to let that get in the way. It's not like I ever did before.

So, in earth-shattering news, Jeff got another job in a far western Chicago suburb about 6 hours away. That's 8 hours closer than we are at present. He starts Jan. 2nd. The best part is that it's partially a work-from-home position, so he'll be here part of the time. I think he'll be surprised to realize just how much free time I don't have though. He wanted to move since I'm away most of the time; he didn't see what was keeping him there. For anyone wondering why he didn't get a job here, it's not feasible for him to get a job here, because 1)it's so economically depressed here he'd have to take a major, major cut in pay and benefits 2) he wouldn't even be able to work in the same industry which would suck for him.

But, since it's really all about me here, we'll just talk about how this affects me in sucky ways. Not to be all Pissy Polly about it, but whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll have more time together, blah blah blah. That's great and all, but I sincerely and truly hearted Texas! Now I don't even get to go there for Xmas break. The home I truly loved is no more (it had lots of room and a remote control garage!). To actually like where you live? That's not something to be taken for granted. Texas was the first time I actually liked where I lived. I don't just mean my actual physical abode, I mean the region; Austin is a cool, laid-back, liberal and progressive place and it's very different from the Chi-town burbs and southern Illinois. I won't get to go back there; I've already seen it for the last time in a certain sense. I didn't realize when I left last August that that was the last time I'd be there as a resident. I didn't know I'd eaten my last Louie's BBQ, that I'd shopped on SoCo for the last time, that I'd had good Mexican food for the last time, and so on. OMG! No more Central Market! CM deserves its own post, so I'll leave it at that. I'm sure we'll go back to visit, but that's not the same. I really loved Texas, probably because it's not the Midwest. Oh, and the ocean was just a few hours away. Very cheap and easy to get to. Yeah, so there was that too.

We've already lived where he's moving, so I already know that I indeed do hate it there. Very much. A place has to really suck if I like southern Illinois more. I didn't think it was possible until I moved there with Jeff after graduation. The suckitude there was what prompted me to get us to move to Austin. At least I won't have to live there full-time; I'll mostly be here in Carbondale.

The suckiest part? We had planned to spend Xmas down at South Padre Island and I was most looking forward to spending an oceanside Xmas day, walking on the beach. For a Midwest born and bred gal, that's a really exotic and unconventional way to spend Xmas day. Now I have to either spend Xmas with Jeff's family (which they're fine) or with my family where the gatherings have gotten so small it just doesn't seem right or something.

I'm glad Jeff will be closer, but the timing sucks. I like C'dale well enough, but now my other home is the far western suburbs (2hrs to downtown with traffic), a place I hate and I'm stuck with it for the forseeable future. The ungrateful brat within is upset that Jeff couldn't wait a measly few weeks to job hunt. It's not like it puts us together sooner, because I'm free at Christmas. It just means I get Austin and all that great ocean access I keep yammering about taken away even sooner. In favor of what? A place I know I hate that is devoid of all personality and culture and filled with traffic so heavy I never could learn to drive in it, so I had to rely on Jeff to drive me everywhere, which made me feel like a prisoner. Maybe I'm not being as petty and bitchy as I thought. No fucking wonder I hated it up there so much. I just fucking remembered.

I want my Exotic, Unconventional Christmas Day Walk on the Beach Back!

If this reads like a trucelent 5 year old, then you're reading it with the right tone.

That's what happens when your visit to the ocean has been changed to a visit with relatives.

And yes, I realize there's lots to be thankful for in this scenario---employment, relative sanity, health, etc.

But what's that compared with going to the ocean on Xmas Day?

Ah well, at least I know a trip to Wilmington, NC is in my future now.